Saturday, November 6, 2010

Our son is the BEST!!

Just wanted to share how awesome our kid is. We went to his friend Logan's first birthday party today. The party started at 1, but because Bennett is down to one nap a day (sigh . . .) we weren't able to leave our house until about 2.

Anyway, we got there late and Bennett just dove right in. Two of his babysitters were there, so that made him instantly comfortable with the crowd. And there as a big crowd! Lots of families were invited to celebrate Logan turning one.

The point is this - with that many families there were that many presents for Logan to open. A lot! Bennett sat on the floor with Brian for the first twenty minutes and then sat in my lap for the next twenty minutes. Everyone around us was just amazed at how incredibly well behaved he was. He watched with interest as other kids dug in, but he wasn't fighting us to get at the new presents. He was content with the toys he had. And then, he played so very gently with the dog of one of the guests. It was a tiny dog who is eight years old.

He made us so very proud.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Injuries - updated

Oh! And Bennett went back to the dentist today to have that unfortunate event followed up . . . He's going to be just fine, everyone. Dr. Mike gave Brian a very good report (I was at a job interview, yay!). . . There is no increased risk of teeth falling out or turning brown/grey. The one that was chipped was actually chipped in two ways, one corner taken out and then the front plane was chipped off. Luckily, the chipping was exclusively enamel and didn't make it to the pulp at all. Also, it's not sharp enough to risk cutting his tongue or lips. Whew!

In other news - the job interview went well. I'm going back for a follow up interview next week. They want the new people to start Nov. 15. I'll have to see if I can negotiate a start date after I return from my girls' weekend! Keep your fingers crossed.

Spoons

Thought you'd like to know that Bennett fed himself some yogurt with his very own spoon today! Whoo hoo! Our baby is growing up so fast, y'all.I did take a photo of it - have to download it.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Vocabulary

A quick entry to document Bennett's vocab at this point. Today he is 12 months and a couple of weeks old. He says the following words clearly - "mama" (yay! finally!), "dada" or "dad", and "uh-oh". He sometimes says "what-oh" instead, which is really cute. We're working on "milk" and "up" but he does put his arms up when he wants to be picked up. And he points and "eeeeee" or "ehhhh"s to get his point across.

He is banging his head on the floor less and less, thank goodness! I think he made it through the entire day today without a single frustration-based head bang. That's doubly impressive considering he didn't get an afternoon nap.

I'll report back when there are more words . . . perhaps get some on video.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Time

I read other people's blogs . . . a lot. There are three that I have bookmarked and check every day. One is written by a woman in Utah. She is Mormon. She is a mother of four. She is also a survivor. She and her husband were in a horrible plane crash about two years ago and they survived. They were badly burned and she writes about that ordeal frequently, but most importantly, they survived. I was reading her blog tonight and she put into words something I have felt on a regular basis . . . "I never want to be too busy for my kids."

Bennett was feeling kind of crummy today. I don't know if it's a reaction to the innoculations he got at the doctor yesterday (flu and HIB) or maybe he's cutting a molar or two, or maybe he caught a bug from one of our playgroups. The general mood around here today was crankosaurus. There were dishes in the sink from last night, dishes piled on the stove from making apple bread. There were crumbs on the floor. Toys were spewed all over the room . . . but my baby needed me. I sat on the floor with him and played. We went outside to dig in the dirt. That meant that he got to take a bath at noon! Then we went for a drive.

I was exhausted by the time his afternoon nap rolled around. He was too. But he was still feeling pretty crummy. No time for me to finish whatever job applications I was working on (or that game of Bejeweled, if I'm being honest with you!) . . . I got to spend twenty minutes with my sleeping son on my chest. He fidgeted, he cried, he wrestled, but he finally fell asleep.

The point is this - I lamented the fact that I couldn't get those dishes washed before Brian came home. I wanted to have a clean house for him. I wanted to be able to present him with a fully cooked meal that was on the table ready for all three of us to eat together. I've had to give up those wishes for now. Because I'd much rather play with my son. I hate it when I look down at him clinging to my leg and tell him he has to wait a minute (even though I know it's good for him). When he's in a bad mood, there is no waiting a minute. Nothing works like mama's cuddles. Thank goodness! "I can't ever be too busy for my kids."

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Injuries

Bennett is all boy - that's for sure. He is constantly climbing and falling and losing his balance and that means he almost always has some sort of bruise on his head. Right now, he has a large bruise on his forehead from slamming it onto the tile in frustration; a small bruise which is disappearing on his right jaw from when he fell into the corner of a small ottoman, and then of course there's the teeth.

He had his first real emergency on Monday morning. Daddy had gone to work and Granna had recently walked out the door for her long drive back to North Carolina after a nice birthday visit. Bennett and I sat down by the sliding glass door to take advantage of the sunlight for some last minute play before his nap. We were hoping to have a good nap so that we could go to our friend's house for a playdate. Bennett loves playgroups! This was not going to happen . . .

As we're happily sitting there chatting with each other, I hear a blood-curdling screech and turn to my right. Bennett is standing there with his hands out to his sides and the wagon part of a toy hanging from his face! My heart started to race as I determined it would be up to me to take the toy off his face without pulling out too many teeth. Was it caught on his teeth? Was his tongue also involved? Where in the HELL was all. this. blood. coming. from????? Oh my lord. What am I gonna do? What am I gonna do? SHIT! Take a breath and be calm so he doesn't freak out any more than he already is. I had to adopt a mantra, "Breathe and be calm. Breathe and be calm."

I tried to be gentle as I worked the toy off of his face - he had caught his lower jaw between an axle and the bottom edge of the back side of the wagon. He continued to howl and bleed as he buried his face in my shoulder and I continued my mantra. I immediately figured I should get some ice on his face to help with the pain and any potential swelling (does the gum swell?). Then I started talking out loud so that I could formulate some sort of plan: "You need pants. I need pants. Forget it, I"ll go in sweats, who the hell cares? It's an emergency. No. I need to put on pants. Seriously, Blythe, don't be a moron. Bennett, where are your socks? We don't have time for socks. Get mommy's shoes on. Grab your wallet and keys. Do you have house keys? Oh well, forget it. Get to the car. Go. Breathe and be calm. It's going to be okay, honey. Dr. Mike will take really good care of you. Do you remember Dr. Mike? He was the dentist with the really gentle smile? We're going to see him!"

We made it to the car, I got Bennett safely strapped into his car seat and by this point, he had generally stopped howling. Simply whining and the occasional wail, but I was the one with the real tears. I kept trying to call Brian to see if he could call the dentist and let them know we were on our way because I didn't have the number in my phone. He didn't pick up. DAMNIT! I called 411 and had them connect me. Thank heavens for Victoria at Winning Smiles Pediatric Dentistry. She calmed me down, assured me that they'd fit me in, come on over!

By the time we got to the dentist, Bennett was no longer crying. We were seen fairly quickly and it turns out that he did not lose a tooth! YAY! His gum had two vertical lacerations at the edges of one of his bottom teeth. There was also a fairly significant chip out of another bottom tooth. I was relieved that the bleeding had stopped and Bennett was flirting with the staff at Dr. Mike's office. He even chewed on the toothbrush that his hygienist Sally had given him.

I have been much more careful and paranoid about what goes in his mouth lately. He seems just fine today. I haven't taken any photos because it was just too gross yesterday, and today it's hard to tell. Especially because it's lower teeth that are affected. His lip hides the major damage.

We went to a playgroup today and you wouldn't have known he was injured at all. It's reassuring to know that he is such a trooper! No wimps in this family!!

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Pumpkin Patch

Bennett with Oma and Grandpa
Bennett with Granna and Daddy-o
Today we went to Kelkenberg Farm in Clarence, NY (just up the road from us) and had a great fall family day at the pumpkin patch! All of Bennett's grandparents were able to join us, which made the day even more fun! We saw horses, sheep (even a black one!), pigs, rabbits and a barn cat. We were able to take a hayride, where Daddy-o discovered that our driver was familiar with someone he works with in NC! Small world, folks.

No-fear baby on the big bad pony
Bennett also got to have his first pony ride. Although I shouldn't have been surprised that he enjoyed it, I was. This kid seems to have no fear, y'all.

Birthday party day!

Today was Bennett's first birthday party! We had great fun with both sets of grandparents and our new friends, Ed, Christina and Logan Lobarinas. Bennett and Logan were born about a month apart, despite being due within days of each other. It is really neat to see them playing and growing alongside each other! They seem to be pretty good pals!

Bennett opened presents from grandparents in the afternoon . . . boy did he rack up! Puzzles, sorting games, clothing, handmade noisemakers, antique tins and coins and a monkey hat. The Lobarinas' gave him a very fun zoo sorting game/toy that he and Logan had lots of fun playing with together. Our gift to Bennett was a walk/ride toy that we actually gave him a couple of weeks ago to encourage his budding mobility. Tomorrow, he'll open up some books we picked out to replace the ones which have had their spines eaten. I'm not pointing fingers, but we all know who's teething in this house!

I made and iced a cake for Bennett yesterday and am very happy to report that he loved it! Granted, the cake itself was made from the apple bread that I feed him every other day. The icing/frosting was a new adventure for me and I'm very proud of how it turned out! Cream cheese frosting that wasn't too heavy or sweet. Yum! Bennett didn't spit it out - in fact, he asked for more.

AND all the playing with Logan wore him OUT. He fell to sleep quite easily and hasn't moved since. He's been asleep for an hour and a half and might have turned his head. We'll see how he does tomorrow - will he be jonesing for more cake?

Photos and a post about our trip to the pumpkin farm will come soon. We're headed to Kelkenberg farm in the late morning, if the weather holds. We had a great day today - one of few without rain or clouds in a long time.

p.s. It was great to SKYPE with Uncle Ben during the festivities this afternoon. :)

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Today's a big day . . .

Here's a shot of Bennett on his birthday morning. Some notes - he's pretty much walking confidently, but chooses to crawl because it's faster. He went up and down the long tall stairway at my mom's apartment today (thank you, Grandpa, for teaching him how to do that!), and he is pointing and grunting (it sounds like, "eh, eh, eh" or "eeee, eee, eee") when he wants something. And he smiles and gives kisses lots! Can't wait to see each of you again so he can kiss you, too.

Happy Birthday to ME!

Monday, October 11, 2010

A year in review . . .

Well, not really, because previous posts have done the actual reviewing of the year. But because Benentt's first birthday is tomorrow (!), I thought I'd like to write him a letter letting him know how much we've enjoyed having him in our life.

Dearest Bennett,
Tonight is the eve of your first birthday. Technically, it's your second birthday, but we're celebrating the end of your first year of life this week! How exciting is that, buddy? I can't believe that this year has gone by so quickly. It seems like just a few weeks ago you were a pile of goo who did nothing but eat, sleep in our arms (sigh) and make stinky goo! I'm glad that you've grown, for sure, but we definitely miss the cuddly you.

This week alone, you have discovered how to pick things up using a stick. You use your rhythm sticks to pick up circular toy parts and the bulb end of an old nasal aspirator that was a piece of junk. When you did this tonight, you proceeded to parade around the living room as if you'd just discovered the most incredible thing ever. Which, quite honestly, we think to be the case.

You are walking like a pro, now. We like to entice you across the room with various ploys, but you've taken to just holding what is in your hand and walking over to show us your treasure. It is wonderful. We bought you shoes this weekend and you look like Frankenstein's monster when you walk in them, but we're confident that you'll get the hang of it soon.

There is nothing more heart-warming than seeing your face as you recognize that either me or your dad has just entered the room you're in. When you hear dad's keys in the door each afternoon you scurry over to the gate at the top of the stairs, trying your hardest to get across the gate to grab his legs. It is very clear that you love your dad and miss him when he's away at work. Know that he misses you too.

We are filled with excitement about the possibilities for your future, Bennett. You have so many interests and are not afraid to take risks. You love climbing and sliding at the playground. You're beginning to get the hang of "coloring", even though you continue to put the crayons in your mouth more than on the paper. You are adventurous when it comes to food - you haven't refused to try anything yet. There are certainly things that you don't care for, mainly sweet things like fruit, which is unfortunate. But you will at least put everything we offer into your mouth. You sing and dance along when we play music, no matter the genre. You like to examine the smallest parts of things. You really like movement and will open and close doors, drawers, cabinets, books, etc. It is wonderful to see your look of wonder when you discover something new that you can do.

I forgot to mention your 'personality', lovey! Like the stereotypical red head - yours is FIERY. You are starting to express your frustration and anger in very physical ways. On the small scale, if I am holding you and don't take you where you want to go or don't give you what you are pointing at, you will bang your head into my shoulder and bite my collarbone. On a larger scale, if you're on the floor already, for instance, you will demonstratively throw yourself face down on the floor, flail your arms and legs and bang your forehead into the floor until I put my hand on the floor to protect your precious face. You will scream and screech and cry until I can find something to distract you. We usually just let you cry because it doesn't last for very long, and honestly, it's actually kind of funny to see. I'm sorry, son, but it is.

The next year will be even more exciting, we are sure. You'll start to talk and run. And you'll likely lose one of your naps. Most of these things we're really looking forward to. Others, (losing the nap) not so much. We do know this - you will continue to bring joy to our lives. Every day we are amazed at the wonder that we created. Cheesy, I know, but allow me this one day of sappy sentiment, please. We love you so, little Bean. We always will.

Much love,
Mama and Daddy

Monday, October 4, 2010

Mobility

Folks, we have a walker. He's for real putting one foot in front of (or sometimes beside) the other and moving mostly in a forward direction!! YIPEEE!!! And OMG all at the same time. I think he's going to be running soon . . . he crawls so quickly, that I don't think he's going to tolerate the slow speed of walking for much longer.

For his birthday, his dad and I planned to get him a toy that he can push and walk behind while he's mastering this walking thing. Eventually, it converts to a riding toy. There are several bells and whistles, but it's not too stimulating. We had to break down and buy it today, ten days before his birthday. He was moving like crazy and we found it a bit less expensive during our weekly trip to BJs for milk. He won't know it's not his actual birthday, right?

Well, by golly he LOVED it. I should say LOVES it. He was moving back and forth in our tiny living room, crashing into anything that got in his way, including running over Brian's feet! He has the biggest grin on his face, as if he finally understands what it means to be free. He's got the wind in his face and glee in his heart. It's such a sight to see.

I'll go backward a bit . . . with some photographic evidence of his movement from the beginning. In October, he was quite a lump. Not much movement, except to turn his head and bat those eyelashes. In November, he started to turn his head with a little more control and waved (with zero control)!

October Baby Lump
Waving in November
Reading in January
I rolled over, so what?
Gimme, gimme, gimme!
In December, not much different. Perhaps he was sitting when supported? In January - still not yet super wiggly - he'd lie on Brian's chest when they were reading together - very sweet. In February - we started rolling!!! In March, he was sitting unassisted, for the most part and also reaching for the camera. By April, Bennett was totally sitting on his own, and was pulling himself around the room with his army crawl. He got so super fast with that method!

Not pulling up, but being funny in the playpen . . .
In May - we hit the water! Ben completed his PhD program, so we went to Arizona to see him graduate. Thank goodness our hotel had a pool, because it was HOT! Bennett took to the water like it was his best friend forever! In June - Bennett was pulling himself to standing, and doing it A LOT! He was also crawling on all fours with confidence. July found us watching more of the same, just at faster speeds! He would pull himself up in his play pen to get our attention, but he could also sit in there for long periods of time entertaining himself (and us) with his antics.

I want to write more about this - but I really want to post because it's been so long. I'll finish up later, and add some photos/videos of his walking and stair climbing (!) in the next couple of days.

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Music

We have discovered over time that Bennett is quite musical. When he was little, he used to hum or "sing" himself to sleep. It was really quite endearing. I wish that I had those sounds recorded because he doesn't really do that anymore now that he's becoming more verbal. I think he was mimicking the song that I would hum quietly in his ear as an infant when he was a little restless before letting himself fall into dream land. My singing was a great calmer when he didn't want to get his diaper changed, or he had become a little fussy. I even find myself humming a tune into his ear now when he's crying because he's fallen or his feelings have been hurt. At about six months old, he would willingly spend thirty minutes or more in his jumper as long as I had my iTunes playing. Elton John and Pink were his favorites. He jumped in time!! And also - you should see his face light up when I turn on the record player. I can't wait until he starts to sing along.

But now? He's Mr. Rhythm. We have been going to a mommy and me music class called Music With Mar since Bennett was about four months old. It was a great excuse for us to get out of the house in the dreary winter months and it also provided me some much-needed exposure to grown people. I didn't do much talking with the growns (that's another post), but Bennett loved the class, and his teacher, Miss Katie, so we kept going.

One of the songs that we sing each week involves rhythm sticks. The littlest guys get red ones and the toddlers get blue ones, which are a couple of inches longer (and much more dangerous!). Bennett LOVES this part of the class. We ended up purchasing a set of the sticks for him to have at home - for "practice". (They're really for Brian to play the drums on our ottoman, but I can keep a secret if you can. shhhhhh) There is not a part of this house that hasn't been beat upon by the sticks. Brian and Bennett play the drums every day.

Bennett is getting very good. He doesn't just aimlessly toss the sticks around as if they are not attached to the ends of his arms. He taps a rhythm! He can copy us if we tap a few "notes" and he really likes to accompany the Jackson 5 or Stevie Wonder. The boys have gotten so good with the red sticks, we bought them a pair of the blue sticks today. Now the Ballmen can play the drums together and really lay down some tracks.

Saturday, September 4, 2010

Winter in Buffalo

We moved to Buffalo on November 20-21, 2009. The move went fairly smoothly as we had a really great guy driving the truck and leading the teams that moved us in and out. We used Atlas Vanlines and would highly recommend them to anyone moving. All of our belongings arrived when promised and nothing was broken or missing! Granted, we put our most valuable things in our own cars, but they had the heavy furniture and I was sure something would arrive scratched.

According to all the locals that we chatted with as we were getting to know our new home, we got to Buffalo just in time as they hadn't had a big snow yet. I think the flakes started falling around the beginning of December and they didn't really stop until March. Granted, there were never more than about a foot and a half of snow on the ground at any given time, but there was quite a stretch there when we saw a blanket of white.

The real benefit of living in this area during the winter is that snow doesn't freak anyone out. There are snow plows out on the streets before the sun comes up. All major roads get plowed throughout the day even. By living in an apartment complex, we didn't have to worry about our sidewalks or parking lots either. The guys were out salting and scraping every morning. Additionally, folks around here know how to drive in the snow. Mostly everyone was slowing down and being polite on the roads. Quite a refreshing change from the hotheads in Virginia who thought snow and rain were the same.

Bennett also adjusted to the new climate well. We tried to get outside for fresh air as often as possible, but there were some days when it was just too cold to even walk to the mailbox and back. He had an audible change in his breathing if the air was too cold. He started taking these really quick, shallow breaths almost as if he were trying to avoid breathing, but just couldn't hold his breath any longer. I'm anxious to see how that changes this winter.

The one thing that troubled me regarding the winter up here is that it seemed as if everyone was hibernating! We live in a very large complex (21 buildings with at least eight units in each building, some have twelve) and I can honestly say that I didn't see a single neighbor beyond the lady who lives underneath us until about late March, early April. I felt like we were living in a ghost town! Sometimes, I would go to the leasing office, just to talk to another grown human being. Needless to say, both Bennett and I were very excited about spending time outside when Spring finally arrived.

We had two big visits during the winter months. Thanksgiving found all of the Erlandsons in Buffalo. We got our meal from Wegmans so that mom and I didn't have to cook. We ordered way too much food. Bennett really enjoyed meeting and snuggling with Uncle Ben. And Daddy-o had a good time teaching Bennett about how to build a fire.

In December, the Allmans came down for a Christmas visit. We were sad that Cindy and Trevor couldn't join Oma and Grandpa, but had a good time with the grandparents. Cindy was able to come down during one of her Spring trips to London and Trevor will be in Ontario in October, so we'll get to see him then. We are so fortunate that Bennett gets to spend so much time with extended family, despite living far away.

Today was a very brisk day - a hint of the Autumn to come. I was explaining to Bennett on our nightly walk that Autumn is my favorite season because the temperature is just right and you can sense that change is on its way. Now that Bennett is a little older, I'm hopeful that we won't feel quite so cooped up this Winter - we'll keep you posted.

Friday, September 3, 2010

Bennett has the sickies . . .

We have been dealing with what many affectionately call a "summer cold" for the last week. Bennett's nose has been running like a faucet! He is starting to cough a little and has the cutest sneezes. However, it hasn't stopped him from eating (he weighed in at 23 lbs 8 oz at the doc's office this morning!) or trying his hardest to walk.

Unfortunately, I am also a little sick (yuck!), so our days have been spent at home for the most part. We haven't been able to make it out to our playgroups or music class, boo. I just want to make this go away as quickly as possible. It's really hard to watch him writhe around in his sleep or wake up often due to coughs when he has recently been a really excellent sleeper. Also? He's waking up at 6:30 am now. He was getting up at 7:00 - 7:30 am. I'm not sure if it's related to the sickness, or just a change . . .we'll see, I suppose.

In other news - I have applied for two jobs. The first is with a local therapeutic agency called Gateway-Longview. They are a residential facility for troubled kids in the greater Buffalo area. The job I've applied for is Visitation Specialist. I understand the responsibilities to be related to helping the families have successful visits with each other. Secondly, I learned from my WM classmate that there was an opening for a psychologist in the Clarence Central Schools. I have applied for that one and then learned that it's quite different than the job I held in Virginia. They're looking for someone to serve as a school psychologist, but in a very specialized classroom and only part time. I checked with the personnel folks today and they said they should know who they want to interview by late next week. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that it works out. I really miss being in the schools.

I have been spending a bit of time on a local mom forum and they are all chatting about how their kids start school next week. They are discussing traditions surrounding the first day and the unbelieveable requests on school supply lists (NINE 24-packs of crayons?). It has made me quite nostalgic and also sad that this will be the very first EVER first day of school that I do not get to participate in. I have had (and loved!) a first day of school every single year since I started kindergarten back in 1980 (or so). Sigh. I'll just have to take notes about what folks are doing so that I'm ready when Bennett hits the books for the first time!

Monday, August 23, 2010

Food

I had decided during my pregnancy that I really wanted to breastfeed Bennett as long as I could, because I had learned so much about the benefits to his development from those nutrients. And also? It's free! and readily available! Or so we thought. My supply dried up pretty quickly and we were only able to nurse for about two and a half weeks. I was pumping like mad and only getting a tablespoon after fifteen minutes on each side. We decided to stop that madness when it started to feel like a full time job. He'd gotten the good stuff for a while, we didn't want to stunt his growth by not supplementing. He transitioned to the formula quite well - and luckily, we were able to use regular old formula - nothing special. It seems our guy has an iron-clad stomach.

I had also done a lot of reading about what to do when it came time to feed him solids. It seemed to me that the most logical option was making his food myself. Early on he just got single veggies steamed and pureed.
Bennett started solid foods around four months or so. He was showing serious interest in our plates and the eating process earlier than that - but we decided to follow doctor's orders and wait until 4 months. We tried rice cereal first and had some 'meh' results. He wasn't all that interested. So, we slowly started introducing other "safe" solids. First up - sweet potatoes. YUM! Gimme more, mama. He loved the sweet potatoes. Great! What next?

We made carrots, corn, peas, green beans . . . you name it, he ate it. He especially loved zucchini! That was a huge surprise to me because I do not care for the squashes. When we gave him blueberries for the first time it was like we'd given him chocolate! I wish I had video of the energy boost it gave him. I couldn't stop laughing. He also really liked apples and pears.

Around eight months, we moved to more complicated meals - and added yogurt. He likes chicken and pork and turkey. He eats things with leeks and onions. He chows down on greek yogurt every day and he's eating oatmeal and cheeries every morning. At this point, he's eating four solid servings a day (oatmeal and fruit in the am, greek yogurt after his morning nap, a veggie of some sort after his second nap and then a "meal" around dinner time). Soon enough, we'll be able to give him smaller portions of what we're having for dinner.

He has also eaten bread, small pieces of steamed carrot, little pieces of cantalope, watermelon and strawberry, as well as little sips of my cereal milk. He begs for the cereal milk anytime he sees me with a spoon! We are trying our very  best to avoid giving him sugary treats and he does not eat processed foods (except for the puffs that he had for a couple of months to work on his pinchers). He also refuses to drink juice, but drinks about 24 extra ounces of water each day (this is in addition to the 24oz. of formula!). He is certainly hydrated.

Saturday, August 21, 2010

Grandparents

I'm going a little out of sequence here, but I had some thoughts I wanted to share about the people in Bennett's (and our) life/lives.

Brian and I are both fortunate to have both parents still living and *gasp* still married to each other! That's two sets of functional grandparents for Bennett. We used to live close to the Erlandson grandparents, now we live close to the Allman grandparents. (For the record, we do not live near either uncle.)

Both sets of grandparents love to visit, which is wonderful, because Bennett is getting to take full advantage of these relationships. Granna and Daddy-o live in North Carolina, which is far away from Buffalo! For the first three weeks of Bennett's life, my mother - Granna - was able to stay with us in Virginia to help Brian and me get settled into our new life as a family. It was such a relief to have someone with experience and patience there to take the early morning shift and to help me stay sane when my milk ran dry. She cooked, she cleaned, she ran errands, she held baby. Daddy-o came for a few days as well, both right after the birth and then later in November for our move up North. We were quite thankful to have a doctor in the house during his visits!

We are also lucky to have another medical professional in our cadre of grandparents. Brian's mother, Doris, or Oma, is an obstetrics nurse. YAY! She provided countless hours of support during my healing and post-partum days. When she and Leonard, Grandpa, came to visit the weekend after Bennett came home, our house overflowed with love. It was obvious that the latest addition to our families was lighting up every heart in the room.

Now that we are in the northeast, we are able to travel to Canada for monthly visits with the Allmans, and have even been able to meet extended family. Bennett loved spending time with his little cousins Korbyn and Kayden. Brian and I were overjoyed with Bennett's laid back attitude to these new folks. He played very well with everyone.

We were also able to take a trip to Georgia and North Carolina back in late June/early July. Again, Bennett wowed us with his social skills. New people were coming at him left and right every single day. For the most part, he just rolled with the punches and threw smiles to everyone. The only squawks came when Gene Jones surprised Bennett from behind when in the middle of a very large crowd of adoring fans at Elkin First United Methodist. Granna was proudly showing him off to all her friends. He was able to calm down quickly, and continue to meet his fans.

Even though we do not live in the same city as our families, a phenomenon that most of Buffalo does not know about, we are so fortunate to have families who love us and travel to spend time with us. We look forward to spending more time with each of them so that Bennett can learn where he comes from.

Saturday, August 14, 2010

Ten Months

Dearest Bennett -

Playing in the pool in London, ON
I'm writing this post on August 14, 2010, two days AFTER you celebrated your ten month birthday. I thought it would be prudent to document some of the amazing accomplishments you've made in ten short months. Most incredible is your gross and fine motor skill development. When we build towers out of your blocks, you delicately pluck one off the top rather than barreling into the tower to knock it down. You love it when we knock it down, sure, but you like to remove the blocks one at a time. We're still working on getting you to build.

You're days away from walking by yourself! You have been pulling up on us and the furniture for a while now, but in the last two weeks, you've started cruising forward rather than sideways, and you're beginning to step on your whole foot instead of just your toes. We are so proud of you!
Eating blueberries in April, 2010

You love to eat, son. We've tried to offer you a wide variety of fruits and veggies and so far, we haven't found anything that you flat out refuse. There was that one time you didn't like the applesauce that i made with cinnamon, but in general - you're pretty sophisticated in your palate. Lately you've been eating a lot of oatmeal with cherries, cauliflower (!) and chicken with mixed veggies (including leeks and onions). I make all of your food except for the oatmeal, which we get from a powder. You don't like juice, which is a bit inconvenient because you are frequently constipated. I think it's the iron in the formula, so we have cut that back a little bit and make sure to give you plenty of fruits and lots of water throughout the day. In a couple of months, we will begin to wean that formula totally. I'm looking forward to your being able to have cow's milk!

You cut your first tooth on your five month birthday. Your second tooth came the next day. Your Granna was quite surprised when she was letting you teethe on her finger and you bit her with your sharp little fang! By now, son, you have EIGHT teeth. Four on top and four on the bottom. They're perfect, according to the dentist. Yes, you've been to the dentist already. Of course, you charmed everyone in the office. What's new?

Ah, sleep! You have been sleeping through the night for about a month. It is so nice to know that we can put you down (around 8p) and you will sleep until about 6:30a or so. Every now and then you might cry out, but you're definitely able to put yourself back to sleep. You're so good at it by now, that I have turned the sound off on our monitor so that dad and I can sleep well too. Thanks so much for this gift! Your naps are regulating, as well. You take two each day. Each is at least an hour, most of the time they're closer to two hours each. It gives me a chance to get some quiet time because when you're awake, I like to be playing with you.

Both your dad and I love to snuggle with you. You have become a super affectionate little boy. The look on your face when you hear dad's keys in the door each evening is pure unadulterated love! When you hear that rattle, you drop whatever you are doing and look straight in the direction of the door, and freeze. As soon as you hear his footsteps coming up the stairs and his keys rattling, you crawl as quickly as I've ever seen you crawl to the gate at the top of the stairs. You then try your damnedest to climb the gate to get to your dad. He is grinning just as widely as you are. Whenever you are excited about something, whether it's seeing one of us, one of your grandparents, or feeling proud of something you've done, you buck like a little horse. It's a lot of fun to watch if you are sitting or standing at the rails of your cage . . . a little more treacherous if you are in one of our arms. We have to squeeze you extra tight!

You have also really taken to the water. We go to a swim class on Saturday mornings and you just love the water. You've put your face in voluntarily and don't fuss when we have you "jump" off the edge. You like to "swim" to me or your dad. I really hope that this comfort level continues as you get older. Being able to swim and finding enjoyment in it are great tools!

We are both so proud of you, Bennett. You are gentle with other babies. You are charming with most adults. You are so easy to get along with, it's a bit alarming! We are very much looking forward to seeing the boy you'll grow into.

Love you,
Mama

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Memories (part 2 - coming home)

We were discharged from the hospital after spending two nights. Like I mentioned previously, we were able to stay at the hospital until around 3 or so because it was the middle of the week and there were not many new admissions to L&D. Also, the pediatrician, Dr. Hanzel, was a little late coming to discharge Bennett. No problem, sir. I was willing to take all the help we could get! Bear in mind, I also had no trouble taking all the free stuff I could get my hands on, since we were technically paying for it anyway. It wasn't like they were going to give the next gal an open bag of pads, anyway.

The first few days (read: weeks) at home are kind of a blur now. I was VERY sore from the tears and the attempts at breastfeeding. Thank goodness my mom was living with us for a while. She and Brian were so good at making sure that I took my medicine on time and that I was taking care of myself. I didn't get to lift anything! I barely got to make my own coffee. In hindsight - I shouldn't have complained. I know it will be doubly bad if we do this again since there will likely be a toddler who will be demanding attention!

The key things that I remember from those first weeks were:
1. I was either nursing or pumping every hour on the hour. I seemed to have low supply and was unable to change that no matter what I tried. My nipples cracked and bled and hurt like hell. We kept trying though, because Bennett seemed to figure out how to latch on and I knew that my milk was best for him. After two and a half weeks, though, we all gave me permission to stop. I would pump about a tablespoon each time (if I was lucky) and that was from both sides combined! We'd add that to the formula we made for him in the hopes that he'd at least get some of the nutrients I made in each feeding. Because he was growing like a weed and not losing any weight, we figured he was getting what he needed. What a relief it was to pack that pump away! I will certainly try again if the opportunity comes up, but I will also go into it with the knowledge that formula is not the worst thing I could do for my baby!
2. I do not heal quickly. Not at all. I had three or four 2nd degree tears and LOTS of stitches. I was bleeding for at least six weeks and in the first couple of days at home shed three golf ball sized clots. I am not easily grossed out by biological stuff . . . that not only grossed me out, but it scared me too. I had to show the first one to my mom because I wasn't sure what it was. Ick. Things still aren't 100% normal, but at least I"m relatively pain free now. I'd say that it took about 8.5 months for the majority of the pain to disappear. Next time I plan to do a couple of things differently. First, I've already purchased some cloth feminine pads and will use them for postpartum support rather than the disposable ones. Nothing like paper catching on stitches! Secondly - I will speak with my doctor more quickly about pain management. I waited until we had been in Buffalo for a couple of months before bringing it up.

3. It is not a good idea to move to a different state just after you've given birth. My mom and Brian would spend hours every day packing up our belongings because we moved to Buffalo when Bennett was five weeks old. It's actually rather serendipitous that Bennett arrived early because he would have been even younger for our move if he'd arrived on time. And i would have been in no shape for moving. As it was, I was not able to help with the packing other than to agree or disagree with choices being made by those two.
4. There was nothing more pleasant than having Bennett sleep on my chest. Many hours each day were spent in just such a position. We had a sleep positioner that we used between our pillows for him, but many times, I just had him sleep on my chest when I was in a semi-reclined position. Especially during the normal waking hours. He and I sat in the rocker or our club chairs just snuggling with each other. It was grand! He's still quite the snuggler and I'm so glad! It feels so good to have his little arms around my neck.
Up next: Winter in Buffalo, NY.

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Memories (part 1-The hospital)

I thought it might be prudent to make notes of things I remember from the first few months of Bennett's life. That's really the whole reason I started this blog in the first place. I used to be very good about journaling. At points in my life, I journaled daily. Not so much any more. I'm lucky if I stop to write down my thoughts once a month. The hope is that having this blog will provide me a more convenient outlet for those daily (at least weekly) thoughts.

These first few posts may get rather long as I try to cram nine months of thoughts in before leaving out the present day stuff.

Okay - let's start at the very beginning, shall we? Bennett was due October 28, 2009. On the weekend of October 10, 2009, Brian and I started to get really nest-y. We made a To Do list that was a page long and man, on Saturday and Sunday we were checking things off that list like crazy. And thank goodness too! On Sunday night, October 11, 2009, we had Indian for dinner (yum!) and went to bed after checking to make sure that our hospital bags were packed as much as they could be . . . I like to plan ahead, what can I say?

4:30am - I am awakened by a funny feeling and a strange popping sound, quiet, but very distinct. I bolted out of bed (as quickly as a nine months pregnant lady can), which woke Brian out of his deep slumber. As I hobbled to the bathroom to make sure, I called out, "I think my water just broke. Get dressed." We called the after hours number for Dr. Coble and started counting/timing contractions. I think at that point, they were around five minutes apart. We left for the hospital around 6am. I had made sure to eat a big bowl of cereal and take a shower (am I remembering that part right?) before throwing all the electronics into our bag and hopping in the car.
Laboring - texting mom and dad

By 7:30 am, I was fully laboring and when Dr. Coble came to visit, I asked for the epidural. It took a very long time for the nurses to finally stick me and then we had to wait an hour for the fluids to flow. When the anesthesiologist finally made it into the room around 10:30, he had to stick me twice before the right spot was found. My mom showed up just after he had left. Thank goodness she was there to relieve Brian for a little bit. And also good that she didn't have to see the hard labor - she is going to be privvy to enough grossness soon, right?

Labor was progressing nicely, but once the epidural kicked in and I was relaxing, it slowed enough for them to give me a pitocin drip. They slowly increased it until around 5:30pm on Monday the 12th, I was ready to push. Mom was on my right, Brian on my left, both helping me hold my legs. Good gravy, I've never worked so hard for something in all my life. I was focused, for sure, ready to push one more time, just one more time. I didn't need a mirror for inspiration (frankly, I was not interested in seeing the inevitable explosion). I simply counted, breathed and beared down with all my might.

Two hours later at 7:25pm, Bennett Charles arrived. He finally squawked, but from moment one, he was the calmest baby I have ever seen. Yes, his head was quite mis-shapen from those two hours in the birth canal, but that righted itself soon enough. His eyes were open, he was staring at all of us and we fell in love instantly.
Bennett Charles Allman - 7lb. 10oz. 20.5in

We were all able to go to our regular room around 10pm and Brian ordered pizza to be delivered. It had been so long since I'd eaten, but I didn't realize I was hungry until the pizza actually arrived. I had been so focused on other things, that it didn't cross my mind. I guess it helped that I had an IV in all day. Boy, was I relieved to have that thing (and that god forsaken blood pressure cuff, too - obnoxious) removed. The nurse had stuck it in the side of my wrist, just under my thumb, which meant that the sensor went off every time I bent my wrist in a certain way, such as to push myself up in bed.

My mom stayed in the hospital with me that night while Brian went home to get his last "full" night's sleep. He sent an email announcement out to all our friends and family and hopefully got some shut eye. He returned the next day, later in the morning. My dad arrived that evening (Tuesday) and he and mom went back to our condo to sleep while Brian and I spent the night admiring our son. OUR SON! Holy shit, what have we gotten ourselves into . . .

My favorite memory of the hospital is when Brian and Bennett were sticking their tongues out at each other (see left). I think they could have done that all day long if the doctors hadn't interrupted.

On Wednesday, October 14th, we were discharged from the hospital. Because they were not that busy, we were able to stay until about 3pm. We had to wait for the older hospital volunteer ladies to come and wheel me down the hall. They were indignant when we got to the exit and there was no car. They turned to Brian (who was behind me carrying THE BABY) and asked, "Where's the car?" He replied, "Over there." (We could see it - it was maybe twenty yards away.) And the oldest lady said, "Well, I don't know what to do. Usually the car is right here." I told her that I was more than okay to walk to the car myself. She really didn't want to let me do it. I must have looked especially fragile, I guess? I convinced her that my legs worked and she finally released me to the wild. I thanked her for her kindness and off we went.
Bennett meets Daddy-o in the hospital

Brian did a great job driving us home, despite my father's best efforts to derail him (with his sense of humor). We even stopped at the pharmacy to get my pain meds filled and pick up some other stuff. Daddy-o and Bennett hung out in the car and got better acquainted. We finally made it home. Mom had picked up and the place looked great. I was so excited to have my baby home with me. The next week or so is really a blur of sleeping, eating, pumping, feeding, changing diapers and packing - oh the packing! That's another post, though.

Brian's parents, Oma and Grandpa, were able to come down for the weekend. They brought fresh/rested hands and plenty of presents. Oma loves to shop and having a new grandson was the perfect excuse!
Oma and Bennett

One thing is for sure, Bennett. You are loved. You got and gave more cuddles in your first few hours of life than any of us could have imagined. Despite waking up at all hours of the night - you brought an exponential amount of joy into our family. You really made us into a family, kiddo. We are so glad that you're here.

Attempts . . .

So - we're going to try this blogging thing . . . Not sure what direction we'll take, but the goal is to have one place where friends and family can check in to see how the Allman, Allman and Allman clan is shaping up. We'll post about our daily adventures, though not necessarily on a daily basis! It all depends on what I can get accomplished during naptime and after Bennett goes to bed.

First - a couple photos to get you caught up.

Bennett - three days old, holding dad's hand.















Bennett - one month old, meeting self.
















Kisses from cousin Eloise.

















Okay - that's good for now. Need to find other photos from then to now to post. Will also tell some stories in next post. If I hope to make it to our music class today, I've got to get ready!